good guys and bad guys

Emma is a terror.

But, she let me sleep in this morning. I dreamed I was the pretty half of a good guy duo running from the bad guys. At one point, we stole a truck and drove through crowed walk streets (like Broadway in Eugene, or Boise Downtown)and we banged up a movie theater so that money was flying everywhere to cause a distraction. How did we start the stolen car you ask? With a Mr Scent marker. In this color blue. A nice dream. :)

On Emma, she is SO cry-y today. It's been a rough day. Also, Jason leaves me tomorrow morning for Billy's wedding, he is going to be there with Katie. That leaves me alone with the monster till Sunday evening. Grr. Pray for us.

And, for Krissy, (and a giggle) go read this. :)

and i suppose you want to know about emma

Emma's six month check up was on Monday, and she is just fine. She is 15 pounds 7 ounces, and 27 inches long. She is getting longer and skinnier than she used to be, but is staying pudgy enough to keep those cute cheeks. She had three shots and the oral vaccine and did well with all of them. I also have permission to give her more real food. (Drat, I meant to get some at Walmart. I need to make a list when I go to the store.) Overall, shes just doing really well. :)

things you dont really want to know but i am going to write about anyway, or, tmi facebook status updates

Sarah does not like other peoples children.

Sarah is easily irritated by family members. (Mine and his.)

Sarah cannot go out in public with her child. If she does, EVERYONE wants to talk to Emma, and Sarah cant get anything done. Yes, Emma is beautiful, and perfect, but please, LEAVE HER ALONE.

Sarah now has contraceptive.

Sarah is a real girl, with a real period, and a real desire to hide under a cool comforter this weekend rather than travel to mccall to spent an entire weekend (even sleeping) with Jason's extended family.

Sarah dreads staying in one room with five bunk beds and Jason, Larry, Andie, Sara, Joshua, Makayla, and Emma. Please shoot her now.

Sarah is kind, loving, and patient. Even when she doesnt want to be.

Sarah does not ever want to take group pictures of the children again. Ever.

Sarah needs to shower, and should do that before Emma wakes up and Jason gets home.

Sarah forgot the brand name of the tampons that she has purchased since she was eleven, because it has been two years since she bought any.

nursing pads

I have a baby sock stuffed in my bra.

I was feeding Emma this morning in the living room (typically, I bring her back into bed with me and go back to sleep, but this morning I felt like getting up. I fed her on one side and when I switched to the other I realized that the inside of my (normal, not nursing) bra was soaked! I havent needed nursing pads in several weeks, so I wasnt wearing any. I didnt want it to keep soaking through to my shirt before I could change, so I looked around for a tissue or burp cloth, and found a little pink and white baby ankle sock. In it went. And there it has sat for an hour, because I havent had a chance to change.

Worth it

This makes it worth the fighting with Emma the last couple days. She was getting tired, so I snuggled her close and she just fell asleep in my arms. That hasnt happened in a long time.

bad mom award

Emma was playing on the floor, entertaining herself while I work on a baby blanket. I am watching The Bachlorette and occasionally glance down so that I'm not totally ignoring my child. Apparently, it had been too long, because as I looked down this time I saw Emma rolling back and forth on her back COVERED IN POO. Her back. Her dress. Her blanket. The pack and play mat (I had just layed it down so she had something firmer to get some practice rolling on, not that she cares to roll or anything...) There is poo everywhere.

Sigh.

I will look down more often, even if she is making happy sounds.

six months

Emma is six months old now. She laughs and laughs sometimes, and I feel like it makes everything else worth it. I still have baby nightmares, of baby cracking her head open, drowning in the tub, being left in the hot car, and other awful things, but they are starting to go away some. I am hoping that this arbitrary date of six months will help. I still listen for her breathing in the baby monitor at night, even though shes been in her own room since march.

Aunt Doris passed away this weekend, and I think that is what kicked my baby nightmares back up a notch. Think of Kalaya, and Miranda, and Wanita, and all the Brownson girls. Aunt Doris was Kalaya's last grandparent. I cant imagine.