dear dr carter,

We are not friends.
Love,
Sarah.

As you know, my appointment with the last remaining partner (who does any OB care) was this morning. I had been warned about him, but thought to myself that having Jason there would help make things more comfortable. He seemed to relate to the straightforward, dominate male type best. My weight is good, I gained half a pound, and my blood presure was just a tiny bit higher than last week (no doubt because of my frustration with Emma). Carter was chatty, but seemed to ignore my responses to his questions. He mesured me, but didnt say what it was. He didnt feel Emma to make sure shes still in a good position. He didnt even bother to find her back to get her heart beat, so I had goo smeared all over my tummy by the time he was finished. He didnt tell me her heart rate either. He was not interested in how I am feeling, or weather or not I have had any contractions. He did not want to check me because I am "only" 38 weeks, and "you just dont deliver at 38 weeks."

He repeted himself, explaining that there is just no reason to intervien at 38 weeks, and that is the policy everywhere, not just at St Lukes. He gave me statistics, and when I told him I dont like statistics, nor do I care about them, he repeted more. He told me that everything I have been told about when to come in when I think I am in labor is essentially wrong, and that I will "just know". I left feeling frustrated, talked down to, dissmissed as being an emotional pregnant woman, and felt that he was simply appeasing me by offering to let me make another appointment for Thursday or Friday this week to be checked again.

So I made it with Dr Carlson, who I very much like, for Friday at 240. Carter seemed to think that intervention at 39 weeks was much more plausable than at 38, so hopefully Carlson will feel that is is reasonable also. Jason or Sarah will come with me to this appointment, and should something happen that I leave there still pregnant with no hope for being un-pregnant, I see Dr Anstine on the 25th (Tuesday) and I am nearly certian that she will do what I want.

Emma has four more days to come see the world on her own terms if she'd like to. Please pray for us, I am not sleeping at night because that is when the contractions are worst, so Jason is not sleeping at all. I get to catch up durring the day though. I have been pretty low stress overall, but when it hits, I feel like I could cry for days before I started feeling better. I would love to wake up having wet the bed because my water broke, and be able to go in on my own. Or even to get these contractions to intensify so I can go in on my own. I am practicing patience, and taking lots of long hot showers. Hopefully this will not last much longer, and Emma will be here with us on the outside of my tummy.